Final Duty


         Part 4  'Satori'
    
    " Where is Great Grandmother ?" She asked the blind one .
" Still out training that Hibiki guy ." He replied from behind his pile of 
dishes .
" Oh , and when you done wash dishes ?" She asked him absently . " We need be 
ready to close for night ." 
" We do ? How so ? We still have an hour before regular closing time ." He 
replied .
" Just do as Shampoo say !" She snapped . 
    Mu Tzu continued to wash dishes in silence for a time . She could almost 
feel the build up . Each had known the other far too long . 
" You are going to follow her aren't you ." 
    Only for a moment did she consider whether or not to respond . 
"< Of course , I know that Great Grandmother means well , but she has been wrong 
a few times . I fear she might underestimate Ryouga's desire to kill my dear 
husband .>"
"< Oh , he's you're husband ?>" Mu Tzu calmly switched to their native tongue as 
well .
"< You know our laws just as I do .>" For a moment she thought of getting up 
from counting the days earnings and striking him , only a moment . 
"< But the counsel declared that in light of the Republic's restrictions on our 
law's extensions into international affairs you are not married to him .>" 
"< I am married to Ranma .>"
"< Only on Chinese soil .>" 
"< Or if I secure a marriage license valid internationally .>"
"< Which requires his consent .>" The long haired boy snorted . "< Why pine for 
a man who will not submit to your will even simply binding himself to you ?>"
"< Mu Tzu , it would be wise of you to hold your tongue before I am forced to 
cut it out .>" She warned in all seriousness .
    He held his tongue , barely . 
"< I doubt Ryouga could kill Ranma .>" Mu Tzu began after a moments silence .
"< Oh ?>" This was odd .
"< From all of my experiences in combat with Saotome Ranma he as been holding 
himself back unconsciously .>"
"< He just doesn't want to kill you by accident .>" She smirked .
"< Exactly .>"
"< What ?>" Agreement had not been his expected reaction .
"< But when his life is actually threatened that ideal is cast aside .>" He 
continued .
"< How do you know this ?>" This time she turned about fully to stare at the 
back of her oldest friend and enemy .
"< Because I was curious not too long ago and actually tried using a lethal 
technique on him .>" He tensed , expecting her outrage .
"< Go on .>" She prompted tightly .
"< I barely hit him , and only then because he wasn't expecting me to actually 
try to kill him outright . It was a shallow gash along the left side of his 
chest , nothing more .>"
"< You said he cast his restraint aside ?>"
"< Yes . As much as I hate to say it , I was defeated before he even had worked 
himself up to full strength . Of course I was caught flat , I was expecting his 
sudden ferocity as much as he was expecting my lethality .>"
"< Ah , so my husband is stronger than I even thought ?>" A smile rose up .
"< In a sense ,>" He conceded . "< but I am too in that same sense .>" Mu Tzu 
finished ominously .
"< If you COULD kill my husband I WOULD kill you Mu Tzu .>" The promised .
"< Why do you think I did not kill him our first fight ?>" He countered .



    It looked like it was time to face the music . Even if she happened to be 
the one playing . Great .
" This is a all time low for you ." She told her reflection in her mirror . 
" What's next sobbing into a Dear diary entry ?" She continued in an attempt to 
both stall and lighten the mood before she would proceed .
    Finally she stood , walked over to her bed and stretched out on it's 
familiar mattress . This was it , no turning back from here . She might as well 
give the thesis statement to herself .
" It's apparent that Ranma and Akane are just not going to work . This means 
that now I have to either make them work or I marry Ranma ." 
    There , she had said it aloud , now it was done . Now she had to go beyond 
her comfortable planning zone . 
    Option one : Somehow make Ranma and Akane's relationship work . First 
problem there was how to go about it . Both had been fighting for so long that 
she doubted there was any way to repair all the damage there . Getting them to 
stop arguing might be the way . Ranma seemed like he was farther there than 
Akane was , but right now something else seemed to be going on with him . 
    From her observations his relationships with everyone else had changed only 
slightly . Ukyo and him seemed to be apart currently , not a good thing for 
Ranma . Ukyo was possibly his only truly supportive fiancée . He seemed to be 
distancing himself from Shampoo , a good move if done gently , and from Kodachi 
, also a very good move . Then there was the surprise of Kasumi . She now spent 
more time with Ranma than basically anyone else . This was so new to Kasumi's 
behavior that she didn't want to make any premature hypotheses yet . However , 
in her gut she felt it should turn out to be a good thing for both of them in 
the end . Kasumi spent too much time alone , and Ranma spent too much time 
without someone who wasn't 'on his side' . Then , of course , there was her 
little sister , Akane .
    This was the clincher , the thing that made her worry that it might be far 
too late . Ranma had always stayed at Akane's side . Even from very early on he 
had been there for her in times of danger . He was her protector , companion , 
occasional confidant , and one constant in her abnormal life . Even through some 
of her little sister's worst abuse he had remained at her side like a loyal 
fiancé . Now it was different . She could see it , even if Akane could not . 
Before he was loyal to her , but willingly . If asked or accused of loving his 
Tendo fiancée he would deny it vigorously . Too vigorously . 'Methinks Ranma 
doth protest too much' had come to her mind once . Now that emotional element , 
the fire that came with his duty was gone . He no longer seemed comfortable at 
all around Akane . Yesterday he had even sat across the table from Akane for the 
first time . He walked by Akane to school like a escorted prisoner . He was 
there , he would protect her with his life , but it would be from duty alone .
    He had to still feel something for her . He had fought too hard and far too 
often for her to just throw it all away . But love does go sour . 
    Once the analogy of taste came to her mind she stuck with it . At first his 
love for Akane had been faint and sweetly sour , like the taste of a drop of 
lemon juice in water . Over time it became more sweet and pronounced , the taste 
thickened . But perpetual arguments and abuses wore the sweet away . His love 
for her became sour , still something to be savored in the right mood . But now 
it seemed the sour had finally resolved to bitterness . Now the shouted insults 
she heard night after night through her closed door must outweigh the rare smile 
she had given him .
    Akane wasn't about to offer any real help now . Things were beginning to 
dawn on her . Her little sister was slowly realizing that this was the end , and 
she was too frightened to do much more than what she had always done to things 
that frightened her , she got angry . Akane expressed her own helplessness to 
stop the downward spiral by lashing out . That only served to further destroy 
things .
" Kami-sama , why , Akane ?" She rubbed her temples while she stared up at her 
ceiling .
    After reviewing her previous points it was still obvious . Barring divine 
intervention , or some earthy miracle , she couldn't fix the damage permanently 
. And this was either permanently or not at all . In good conscience she could 
not condemn her sister to a marriage that would struggle along for a decade at 
the most before collapsing . No , she would rather set her sister free to pursue 
a man she fit better with . 
    Which meant option two : she would marry Ranma . Now it was time to delve 
where she feared to before . 
    The big question first . Could she love Ranma ? 
    The answer : yes , in time . Ranma was not the sort she was used to viewing 
as husband material . He was quite handsome , that body of his had intruded her 
dreams many times since she had met him . He was a honorable person who she 
could count on when she needed him the most . Not something you found often . He 
was a powerful martial artist , and seemed to be a magnet for interesting people 
and situations . That meant her life would never be dull and a constant influx 
of money . His recent school performance did show that his mind branched farther 
than martial arts . She did not want to marry a man who was dumb as rock . 
    However , he did have numerable faults . Not many really mattered , but she 
could hardly say she saw him as perfect . He had an ego that could match China 
for size . Well she had one of her own , they both had them for good reasons . 
He was younger than her . She did not fancy being married to someone more that 
marginally less mature than her . He had little interest beyond marital arts . 
Well that seemed to be false if what she had heard from Kasumi was right . Then 
there was the curse . For all her open mindedness and teasing of Akane about 
Ranma's condition she had to look at Ranma's curse as a problem . While perhaps 
it might make the bed portion of their marriage interesting . It would pose 
problems in other areas . For one public shows of affection would have to be 
made after a quick check for any water lurking about . Even if she let all of 
her gender inhibitions go in favor of Ranma being a male underneath there still 
was his own apprehension about his curse .
    A month after Ranma's arrival she had posed the curse to a psychologist as a 
thought experiment . Over almost daily e-mail correspondence they had gone back 
and forth . She would provide the observations of the cursed subject . He would 
analyze them and give projections and hypotheses . That had proven to be 
disturbingly enlightening .
    It seemed that Ranma's curse had to be the second most emotionally shaking 
event of his life , second only to the neko-ken training . Ranma , being raised 
to be a stereotypical man-among-men , found suddenly being a girl more to be a 
worse fate than death . His entire purpose in life had been destroyed in one day 
. His self image was shattered and his identity was gone . Then his Father had 
chosen this time to tell Ranma that he was engaged . Only to find that his new 
fiancée hated him . Before they had gotten much farther than that Professor 
Takashinji had asked how MANY times had the subject attempted suicide since . He 
had gone on to give her a few insights into Ranma's mental state . Almost all of 
Ranma's posturing and obsession on becoming stronger in his art was an attempt 
to both protect his vulnerable self and distance others from him as he 
desperately tried to find himself again . 'My experience , having a martial 
artist for a brother , has been that they enjoy a "center" that we do not . This 
"center" is a heightened awareness of themselves that if disturbed is akin to a 
crippling injury .'
'So what happens if their center is destroyed ?'
'To their psyche it would be like the loss of a limb or becoming paralyzed .'
    Ranma defied very little of the Professors projections or explanations . 
Even then the only ones he did defy were from being much too strong of will to 
suicide or run away . He did defy one projection for no apparent reason , to her 
relief . Ranma had neither become completely indifferent to the sexuality of 
others nor had he tried to 'experiment' with sex in both genders . 
    Theoretically a cure to his curse would make all of the problems void . The 
only obstacle there was the fact that even the Amazon matriarch , Cologne , in 
over three hundred years of her life she had never known someone to have ever 
cured a Junsekyo curse . That was a rather large obstacle to be sure . 
    Still , as she had told Akane before she had her own dreams . Thankfully 
none of them were dependant on being single or married . She was telling the 
truth , she could and would fulfil her dreams even with Ranma as her husband .
    Sitting up she sighed deeply . All that she could do now was wait until 
Akane realized that it was too late to make her relationship with Ranma work . 
Then she would announce the switch of the engagement . That's all there was too 
it .

    

    The brick was across the Dojo , but I could see every detail of it as if it 
were right in front of my face . This was a new technique I had read about in 
the old texts that Pop had but never bothered to read . 
    The thing with it was to focus your senses . I've been doing that since I 
was eight . Then you extend them , reaching out of your body . Had that down pat 
when I was eleven . But now I was learning to sharply focus my extended senses 
and yet retain a sense of everything about me . The new element that allowed me 
to examine the porous brick in detail yet see everything around it was to expand 
the amount of info that my brain can process . How ? By directly exercising the 
good ol' gray matter during meditation .
    Now a new world of perception was open to me . It's like suddenly 
discovering peripheral vision . 
    Having my senses extended makes me aware of a lot of things . Kasumi walking 
towards the Dojo was just one of them . I'm standing up and looking at the door 
even before she's halfway to the door .
    After politely knocking she walks in through the half open door . Most 
people would be surprised . She isn't at all . I guess she knows me the best out 
of all of the Tendos . 
" Yo , Kasumi ." I wave to her , before walking over .
" Hello Ranma ." She replies .
" You don't get here until an hour from now ? What's up ?" 
    She blushes . Kasumi the serene actually blushed ! For a moment I'm actually 
startled .
" I do come here often don't I ?" She says to herself . " Well , I finished my 
chores a little early today , and I thought I would ask you why you wanted me to 
start training again ."
    I just blink at her . 
" Ranma ," She begins , not looking at me directly . " I stopped training when 
Mother died , I'm hopelessly out of practice . And I can't really see why I 
would need to train anyway ."
" Why not ?" I ask reasonably . " You do live in the same house as the martial 
artist-with-a-grudge-magnet , me . Akane , Ojisan , and Pop might not be there 
to protect you all the time ." I let a note of seriousness in my tone for my 
next statement . " All it takes is one of them not being there once ."
    Now she's staring at me with a look that I've never seen on Kasumi's face 
before . I could swear it's something like wondering suspicion . 
" Is that the only reason ?" She breaks eye contact for a moment . Even with my 
cursed clarity I can't read her .
" No , physical fitness , confidence , it'll get you out of the house if you 
want to compete in tournaments , an-" She cut me off before I could spout out 
more of what you would find on a Dojo ad .
" You know what I mean ." Now she has her back to me . 
    In the second before I answer I take in every detail I can , looking for 
some cue as to what she's thinking and feeling at that moment .
    Her shoulders are strait and relaxed , her norm . Her entire posture is 
relaxed but correct and poised . Still nothing to read . But then I notice that 
her hands are clenched around her ever present apron .
" What's wrong ?" The concern in my voice surprises even myself .
    Instantly her hands relax . She must have realized what tipped me off .
" N-nothing !" She stammered before running from the Dojo .
    I could have outran , out maneuvered her without any effort . But , if she 
doesn't want to talk to me about it . I'll not force her , of all people I am 
farthest from being able to deny Kasumi anything .
    Still her reaction puzzles me . But I have no right to intrude into Kasumi's 
affairs . 
    Now I'm not in any mood to practice anymore . I've already talked to Ucchan 
today . So I quickly clean the Dojo before walking out into the Tendo's 
extensive back yard . 
    The twilight air is cool , it'll be a cold night . I can almost feel winter 
on the wind . The cold raises hairs on my skin , but I don't care . The sky is 
awash with all the dark colors of a sun just below the horizon . The dying light 
dances it's final joy amid the feathery clouds so far above me . I cannot see 
them flow , so far above me , but they do and the light shifts with the moods of 
it's canvas . 
    I pass the koi pond and leap into the nearby cherry tree . The wind twists 
through the branches , the leaves are gone , airy notes play through my ears . I 
glance down at myself , the dying light plays on my skin and garb with the same 
gentle waltz as the high clouds . Again I look up to the clouds , it has not 
been more than a minuet yet the entire scene has changed . Now the ocean of deep 
reds and fading oranges shifts to fields of violet and indigo . 
    It wasn't until the last of the light danced it's final color and fades to 
the cover of night that I look back to the earth . Only know I realize that for 
that time I had had not been . I was not Saotome Ranma , troubled by Kasumi's 
reaction and burdened beyond my years . I was only feeling , surrounded by 
sensation and a pure quiet beauty so far apart from the world that consumed me . 
I had thought I lost those moments when I left the mountain tops and valleys for 
the Tokyo's concrete . 
    Kami-sama I'm such a pitiful being for all my training , trying , and false 
tenacity . Something so simple as appreciating the beauty around me , I had 
ignored it . It had taken opening my senses and this new damned clarity to make 
me notice how closed my eyes were .
    Now that I had let go it was even clearer than before . A part of me wished 
to scream and destroy . Everything just gets clearer . I know now that it was 
over long before now . I know the situation was hopeless long before I came to 
Tokyo . Before I even met Ukyo . It's clear to me that truly I am , or more 
precisely what I have become , that is the true source of all of this shit .
    The day that I stopped being Saotome Ranma , and became Saotome Ranma Man-
among-men , was the day that blazed this dark path . None of this will end 
unless I do .
" I'm the problem ." I say in a voice I don't recognize as my own . " There's 
only one solution ." 
    The moment my ears hear the words I only intellectually recognize as my own 
a calm settles over me . The same calm that I feel in battle . My mind and my 
heart are quiet , my duty is all that matters now .
    I am standing below the tree in less than a second . I must still strive to 
make things right . For all my new clarity I must not leave doubt . I find 
myself at Akane's door with little recollection of the journey there .
    I knock .
" Come in ." Is her reflexive reply .
    I open the door and walk in . Her reaction is immediate , she stiffens , 
clenches her fists and narrows her eyes accusingly . But now I know the cruel 
validity of those eyes . She has every right , but I must still try . Honor 
demands .
" Akane , can we talk ?" I begin slowly .
" You'd better have a damn good reason .." Is her reply . She sits roughly on 
the edge of her bed . Her hair bounces with the motion , her eyes jaw is set and 
her lips are tight . Even in anger she is beautiful .
" About our engagement-"
" What about it ?!" Her fists grow tighter .
"-I need to know , Akane-"
" You asked Ukyo that same question ! I remember !" She springs to her feet . 
" What now ? You looking to use me for an ego boost ?!"
    The validity of her earlier statement contrasts with her following 
accusation like fire and ice .
" No , no . Akane , I want to talk about us-"
" Where have you been ?" She snorts at me . Her legs are spread slightly , in a 
loose preparation for a fighting stance .
    Why must she make this more difficult ?
" Outside in the tree ." I answer , better to not anger her further . " Akane , 
please ."
" Fine . Ask ." She closes her stance , but gives me a withering glare .
    This is it . Either somehow I can make this work or not . No gray area this 
time .
" Akane , could we as a couple ever work ?" I begin .
" Nani ?" She is taken aback by the question .
" Could we ever really make a marriage work ?" I reiterate .
" You're going to run off with Ukyo aren't you ?" Sudden tears flow from her 
eyes even as she falls into a attack posture .
    No , no , please not like this .
" You bastard !" She nearly sobs the words . " You're just trying to talk me 
into ending you engagement !"
" No , no ." I deny . " I'm not , I just need to know ."
" Why !? Why !?" She screams , squeezing her eyes shut . " Why can't this work ! 
My life hasn't worked ever since you got here ! WHY DO I HAVE TO CARE ABOUT YOU 
DAMN IT !?"  She throws a punch I saw coming a hundred kilometers away .
    I made no attempt to dodge . Her fist impacts my chin , swinging my face to 
the side . 
" It was so simple when it was just the four of us , Daddy , Kasumi , Nabiki and 
me ! THEN YOU CAME !" Another punch .
    This one slams me into the wall , it holds but barely . 
" Why can't you just go away !" She grabs a lamp and hurls at into my face .
    The shattered plastic lacerates my face , but I don't bother to do much more 
than extract myself from the wall .
" Just go off and DIE !" She hurls a chair into my midsection .
" DIE YOU BASTARD !" This time it's a ten kilo weight to my ribs .
" DIE RANMA !" Now a drawer to my shoulder .
    How many times have I heard those two words ? Her streaming tears , her 
piercing screams give force to her words greater than anything she could throw 
at me . Her screams are of pain now , no longer anger .
" JUST DIE AND LEAVE ME ALONE !" She screams louder than I have ever heard her 
before .
    That finally snaps me out of my helpless trance . She is no longer the 
person I am trying to get to love me . She is the person telling me the answer 
to the Ranma problem in her life . 
    I caught the thirty five kilo dumbbell reflexively . 
    With a wordless scream she lunges at me lashing out in frustration .
    I am out her door before she can land on her bed from the gentle block and 
throw I executed . The dumbbell lays at her door . 
    Now my path has been chosen . I follow it completely , for it is a path I 
have set of my own will .
    In my room I pack quickly . Only two changes of clothing , what money I have 
in the house , a select few photos , pen and paper , and a few things I had set 
aside a long time ago . 
    Soon I am standing behind the wall that borders the backyard of the Tendo 
residence . Without looking back I set off , running , not leaping from roof to 
roof . I don't want any to see me . I need a safe place to plan .

         End of Part 4  'Satori'