Old wounds , part 1

By Kyokukou

Disclaimer : I don't own the characters from Ranma 1/2 only the characters that 
I write myself . So please don't sue me ! But if you try to use my characters 
.....there will be ...unpleasant consequences if I find out . Do not repost or 
reprint this without my permission , however if you do ASK there is a good 
chance I will let you .


" Time travel opens up so many possibilities that it would be pretty useless to 
one person alone . Think about it . You would have easy access to so many things 
that most of life's goals would become superfluous to you . So , in having 
everything at your fingertips , what would matter to you ?"
                                            -M. M. Alloy


Chapter 13
Do you really wanna know ?


    She had spent much of her lessons on stealth with Ranma on adapting them to 
try to accomplish the feat she had never been able to before . Sneak around 
Kasumi with impunity . 
    The eldest Tendo daughter was a veritable master of the flowing wind branch 
of the huge and prolific tree of Musubetsu Kakuto Ryuu . She had always been the 
best martial artist of the three sisters , however , she had also always been 
the least aggressive . Which put Akane up as the official best of the three 
sisters . Even though she knew that Kasumi practiced every day she had not seen 
her sister even do a kata in years . Instead , she was constantly reminded of 
her sister's skills by little things .
'Nabiki , no filching food before dinner .'
'Nabiki , you already have a bag of cookies under your bed . Put that back .'
'Nabiki , I need that for the market , put the money back in my purse .'
'Nabiki , you still have homework , you can see the movie tomorrow , and next 
time don't leave fingerprints on the window when you pick the lock .'
'Oh hello , Akira-san . Nabiki knows better than to try to sneak a guy into the 
house after midnight . I'm going to have to ask you to come back tomorrow .'
'Nabiki , hands out of my drawer , besides the false bottom is in the top 
drawer not the middle .'
    Rarely had her sister even been in the room . When she was in the same room 
Kasumi had reprimanded her without even turning around . Perfectly aware of her 
actions by instinct and sense alone .
    So , it was with the application of every trick , and technique Ranma had 
taught her, and all her years of effort that she made her way into her home .
" Welcome home , Nabiki ." Kasumi called to her even before her older sister 
started down the stairs . 
" Damnit, damnit , damnit !" She clenched her teeth and hissed the curse 
repeatedly as she removed her shoes .
" When is Ranma coming home ?" Her older sister inquired innocently . " I wanted 
to ask him about something ."
    It was then that she noticed Ranma's sandals had already been there before 
she had entered .
" I've been home ." Ranma came out of the kitchen with a bowel of cereal . " I 
thought you heard me come in , sorry ." 
    Kasumi almost jumped in surprise , almost .
" Wha-how-when ?" She looked from Ranma to the sandals . Reaching down she 
touched the straps , which should still be warm from Ranma's feet . They were 
cool .
    Ranma winked at her . 
" Yougottabekiddingme ." She mumbled and peeked out the front door .
    To see Ranma standing at the gate and waving at her .
    Right about then she fainted .

                                             

    " Oh my !" She gasped as her younger sister went limp . She zipped on over 
and caught Nabiki before she could fall .
    She looked outside to see what had caused her sister to faint . Outside only 
the night breeze blew .
" Bring her over here , I'll get a pillow ." Ranma placed his cereal on the 
table and quickly fetched a pillow .
    Once they had Nabiki comfortable she asked a question that had popped into 
her mind the moment Ranma had exited the kitchen .
" Where in the world did you get the cereal from ?" She asked . She didn't 
remember having bought cereal .
" Bought it on my way home ." Ranma shrugged . " She'll be waking up any time 
now ."
" How can you-"
" Nnnnn-" Nabiki interrupted with a moan as she struggled to consciousness .
" Are you alright , Nabiki ?" She asked .
" 'Course not ." Nabiki growled before looking to Ranma . " How in hell did you 
do that ?"
" Do what ?" She looked from Ranma to Nabiki .
" Oh nothing , I was just right behind Nabiki as she was coming home . She 
thought that I would arrive some time after her , not before ."
" Still , how did you do it ?" 
    Ranma smiled his slightly crooked smile and asked in a mischievous voice .
" Do you really wanna know ?"
    She looked at Nabiki , who wore the expression she usually did when her 
curiosity was warring with the rest of her . She had yet to see an instance when 
curiosity did not win .
" Yeah , I do ." Nabiki said .
" I'm a time traveler , remember ?" Ranma began . " So I waited at the gate when 
Nabiki went ahead . When she looked back after going inside I waved and left . 
Then I spent the next few hours going to the temple and that tree . From there 
it was a quick splash back to this morning . I puttered about town , running 
errands that I've been meaning to get done for a while , and picked up a box of 
cereal on my way here . I got here about five minuets before I remember us 
arriving the first time . So I made myself a bowel and after a few bites Nabiki 
walked in ."
    Nabiki seemed ready to faint again . She felt like joining her sister .
" Oh my ." Seemed rather weak for the occasion .
" Oh yeah ," Ranma added . " I wouldn't advise actually asking me about the mind 
bending details and paradoxes , but I also took the liberty of getting all the 
questions you were going to ask ."
" You got to be kidding me ." Nabiki sat up .
" No I'm not ," He said to Nabiki before turning to her . " and it was at the 
corner store a few blocks from Tofu's ."
" Where did you get that cereal ." She asked , realizing halfway through that he 
had already answered it .
" So why-
"-many reasons , ask me some other time ."
"-don't you do this more often ." Nabiki finished lamely .
" Will-" Nabiki started .
"-No , it's fun ."
"-you stop that ?" Nabiki finished .
" H-" She started .
" Not very ."
"-ow often do you do this ?" She finished .
" Let me speed this up ." Ranma said . " As we are actually pressed for time . 
No , Nabiki , I won't let you tag along . Here , Kasumi ." He handed her a book 
that had gone out of print years ago and she could not find . The thing was that 
she had only just begun to think of asking him about it . " No , Nabiki . I 
can't , Kasumi , and I never have tried . Yes , Nabiki , I have tried that 
before and it was fun , but more trouble that it was worth . Now we are out of 
time ." 
" Wait-" Her plea was cut off by a familiar voice crying for help .
" Heeeelp , RaaaanmaAAAAAAA !" Genma's voice bellowed from outside .
" What's go-"
"-Oyaji pissed off a drunken Kung Fu guy . I ain't helpin' him ." 
"-ing on out there ." She finished .
" I've been up for almost eighteen hours now . I'm too tired to care if Oyaji 
gets kicked around a little for pissing someone off when he knew better ."
    That said Ranma stood and took his bowl to the kitchen .
    She looked to her sister .
" I'm not helping him , I'm too tired from my last fight ." Nabiki got to her 
feet and headed to the stairs , unconcerned by the screams for aid coming from 
outside .
" Well , I suppose that narrows it down ." She said to herself as she headed for 
the front door . A part of her wondering what Nabiki had meant by 'my last 
fight' .
    She had not fought someone for a long time , and although she was secure in 
the knowledge that she had vastly improved since her last confrontation she was 
still nervous as she opened the door .
    It opened to reveal Genma racing about the yard while a staggering figure 
lurched after him .
    The figure lurched and stumbled , apparently maintaining his bipedal status 
by the skin of his teeth , however , to her well trained eye she saw a man who 
carefully ran along the edge of his limits as he slung his center of gravity and 
his momentum to their limits . Each kick and punch held incredible power behind 
them despite all appearances . Her assessment was verified when a good sized 
chunk of the house wall was taken out by a missed punch . 
    The man noticed her and broke off pursuit long enough to shout .
" Don't interfere , this man stole my entire cart of saké !" 
" It looked abandoned !"
" I was talking on the payphone next to it !"
    Thus the pursuit resumed .
    She pondered letting the man take revenge for the crime beset upon him , but 
the property damage was mounting .
" Could you take this outside of our yard ?" She asked them .
    Her only response was a ki blast of some sort tossed at Genma , who dodged 
it , and wrecked an entire section of the wall .
" Please !" She called .
    Genma retaliated with a kick to the ground that somehow sent a shockwave 
through it . The drunken Kung Fu martial artist 'fell' out of the attack's path 
and threw another ki ball .
    It looked like she was going to have to force the two to take their fight 
elsewhere . She flexed her fingers and began to mentally prepare herself .
" SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP !" Otama's voice screamed in prelude to a 
flash of runic light from each man . Both men fell to the ground in limp heaps , 
a fading arcane rune on their backs . 
    She looked up at the window where the shout had originated . Otama/Akane 
waved down to her , the last bit of misty light fading from her hands .
" Sorry , but they both deserved it ."
    She shook her head and went inside , immensely relieved . At least she did 
not have to hurt anyone . She hated having to hurt people when she fought , but 
she had always been so good at it .
    What was it her Mother had told her when she was young ? 'Everyone has gifts 
, no one gets to choose them , and sometimes someone gets a gift they don't like 
at all . But you have that gift for a reason .' .
    Her Mother had insisted that she continue her training . After her death she 
had continued both out of respect for her Mother's wishes , and a certain peace 
that practice gave to her . The fact that she could go everywhere , even the 
meanest streets of Tokyo and not have to worry was a fringe benefit . Only two 
people ever tried to mug her . Both ended their illegal careers after the short 
encounter .
    Now , to find Ranma again . She had just remembered what she had wanted to 
ask him .
    The kitchen only revealed a clean bowl in the drying rack . His room was 
empty , the living room was empty , the Dojo was still empty , and so was the 
bathroom . She was about to give up when she looked out into the back yard by 
chance . There Ranma was . Sitting on a rock and staring into the sky's 
reflection on the still water of the koi pond .
" Ranma ?" She inquired , not wanting to interrupt him if he were meditating . 
Normally she could feel wherever someone was within a reasonable distance . She 
could tell their emotions , and even sometimes their actions , all by feeling 
their ki . Ranma , however , was invisible to her in this way unless he desired 
to be felt . " I thought you were going to bed ."
" I thought I was too , but my mind is deciding to be restless right now ." 
Ranma answered .
    She made her way onto the back porch . Something was telling her that this 
was a delicate situation .
" I assume that was Otama with the holy bolt thing a minute ago ." Ranma 
chuckled softly .
    She walked over and took a seat a conversational distance from him . " You 
know what spell she used ?" She asked in surprise .
" Oh heck no ." Ranma shook his head with a smile . " But I've had a lot of 
experience with magic . Enough to say this . It's like martial arts in that ; 
everyone has their own way of doing it , you know , hundreds of schools and 
styles . But , when it comes down to it they're pretty much doing the same thing 
. Every style has punches , throws , kicks and such . Every style has their 
smite , their fireballs , their holy bolts , their summons and such ." 
" Oh I see , have you ever spoken with Otama about magic ?" 
" No ." Ranma's smile faded a bit .
" Why not ? It would be something I'm sure she wishes she could talk to someone 
about ."
" I suppose she might . I'll talk to Rei -she's a magic artifact dealer I know- 
about that ."
" Why won't you talk to her ?"
" Why don't I talk about martial arts with you ?" He asked , his smile gone .
" What ?"
" Same reasons ." Ranma gave the vocal equivalent of a shrug . " My own ." 
    She watched him gaze into the image of the stars for a long minute . His 
face now a mask , blank and unreadable . She didn't even think that he was 
blinking .
" Why are you suddenly so withdrawn ?"
" You've been reading that book again ." He stated flatly . " I didn't give you 
permission to . However , I'll let it slide this time , only if you promise me 
that you will ask permission from now on ."
    There would be no point in trying to deny her actions . " I swear it ." She 
affirmed solemnly , chastised . 
" You've been reading , trying to find out more about them haven't you ?" He 
asked .
" Those three girls ?" She asked needlessly .
" Now ask ." He snorted , bitterness in his tone . " Ask about only one of them 
, it's late and Nabiki's proxy match is tomorrow ."
" I don't know who to ask about ..." She lowered her head , about now she wished 
she could just disappear .
    When she looked up she watched Ranma run a finger along the line of his scar 
, from his lip up into his brow .
" What about Sakuya-san ?" He asked . " Did you come across that name ?"
" Your Lord's niece ?" She remembered what little she had skimmed of that name .
    Ranma leaned back and rested his back against a bolder and looked at her 
with an expression of remembered pain . " Do you ever wonder how I got this ?"
Ranma ran a finger down the scar .
    Her hands leapt to cover her mouth . " Did she give that to you ?"
" Oh , heck no ." Ranma looked almost surprised . " Well , there goes the drama 
of the moment ..."
" I had always assumed that you were cut in a swordfight ." 
" In a way it was a swordfight . But I did not wear a sword then ."
" You didn't ?" She blinked .
" Story time ." Ranma began humorlessly . " When Ryouga and I first arrived in 
the past I didn't just suddenly run off to become a retainer and grab a daisho 
from out of nowhere . I spent most of the first year as a ronin of sorts . A 
kind of wandering do-gooder , fight bandits and criminals and such . I was 
renowned for fighting hand against sword and winning every time .
    " Until I crossed a warlord one too many times . He saved for months from 
the spoils of his campaigns to hire the best assassin he could . At first she 
approached me as a potential lover . Claiming to have fallen in love with me 
from afar . She followed me for weeks , professing her love . I still kept my 
distance until she threatened to commit seppuku for unrequited love . I agreed 
to marry her . From then on I no longer kept my distance . I was in my future 
Lord's territory in order to find a proper temple to hold the wedding at . Of 
course I was having second thoughts about marrying a near-stranger over a 
suicide threat . It was a big mistake admitting the doubts to her . She had been 
waiting until the honeymoon to kill me in my sleep by poisoning herself and 
sleeping with me . You see , she was a different kind of assassin than the 
shinobi or ninja . She was raised to make only one or two kills her entire 
career and then to kill herself .
    " So , after I confessed my doubts to her she began to wail in her despair . 
She drew the dagger , moaning that she'd kill herself to save both our honors . 
I moved in to stop her . She changed her stab into a swing . If I hadn't jerked 
back ... As it was she cut through the bone and came within a millimeter or less 
of exposing my brain to open air . The shock of the wound blinded me , I lashed 
out in instinct and pain . A punch meant for her face hit her throat . I had 
crushed her larynx , my second punch had snapped a few ribs and I think her 
spine as well . Then I went down . 
    " The commotion brought a few people into the room , just in time to stop 
her from stabbing me while I was helpless . Even as she was crippled and choking 
to death on her own blood she was still trying to kill me .
    " Now , this scar may not look too serious , but think about it . It cut 
through my sinus cavity and my skull and all I had at the deepest point was a 
membrane that separated my brain from the world . So they called in the best 
healer that my future Lord had . Sakuya-san . 
    " She did what she could to prevent infection and keep me from drowning in 
my own blood . But that was about all she could do , as it turned out that the 
blade had been poisoned . So she watched over me day and night , maintaining a 
spell to negate the poison for the nearly twenty four hours it took to flush out 
of my system . As it was she still had to try to bind my split face back 
together . 
    " Long story short , it was the Florence Nightingale effect . She fell in 
love with me . I frankly have no idea why and still don't believe her 
explanation . But she told me that the first thing was my strength to pull 
through when most would have died , either from shock or the poison or any 
number of things . She told me that she also fell in love with a lot of things 
about me that she couldn't find the words for ..."
    Ranma was silent for a time . For a while she thought he might be finished , 
and she was just opening her mouth to speak when Ranma began speaking again .
    " I was in love with her as well , but ... after your fiancée tries to 
assassinate you before your wedding you tend to forswear relationships . So I 
kept things strictly platonic between us , despite her confessions of love .
    " After I became the Kodachi she still loved me . She always was the only 
one to tend my wounds , even when wounded herself from her own dark work . 
Kasumi , who would make a better assassin than a Shinobi or a seductress ?"
    Ranma waited only long enough for her to mumble that she did not know .
" A doctor , Kasumi , a doctor would . Sakuya-san was a healer , and when her 
Uncle joined the conflict she became an assassin as well . One of the best . She 
could kill without trace or suspicion . It took so long for the enemy to even 
suspect that any of her victims had died from anything other than purely natural 
causes . 
    " It's almost funny , I fell for an assassin after nearly being assassinated 
by one ." There was no humor in his voice . Only a soft emptiness that touched 
her , as if his doleful words were black velvet .
    Nothing was said for a long while . Ranma did not move even a millimeter . 
She sifted uncomfortably from time to time . Watching him , feeling his soft 
words slide through her mind . Soft words speaking of cruel events .
    Finally she managed to speak again . " Ranma , why tell me this ?" She asked 
him earnestly . " Why ? You can't tell me that I needed to know , or that I even 
deserved to know something so personal ... So , why then ?"
    Ranma did not move anything but his lips . His eyes remained with the sky's 
reflection . " It is a very rare moment when I do something that is completely 
without reason . Everything I say , I say for a reason or many reasons . 
Everything I do has many reasons . But none of this means that my fragmented 
mind always comprehends all of my own reasons ." Once again Ranma lapsed into 
silence .
" Fragmented mind ?" She asked in a whisper .
    A finger slowly raised itself touch his brow . " Three minds share the same 
brain . Each mind overlapping the others and being overlapped by the others . 
The Pure lurks in my mind like a sleeping mountain . Unstoppable power , but 
without direction or intent . Ready to erupt with only a phrase . The True looms 
over me every second of every day . I am all three , each one is of Ranma . My 
Lord cut and carved my mind and soul as he saw fit . Thinking that the finished 
woodcut would stay . But the wood was still alive , and it grew . The original 
wood tries to grow back , but the wood that was cut out cannot be replaced . So 
the cut picture changes , never getting shallower or deeper , only changing 
shape . Maybe becoming better , or maybe twisting into chaos . Only time will 
give me the answer .
    " My Lord removed many , many memories from me that I will never get back . 
Did you know that I had no idea what my own Father looked like when I came back 
to this time ? The only reason I believed that he was my father was that I had 
one remaining memory of his voice . Just one ."
    She almost couldn't bear it any longer . " WHY ?!? Why are you telling me 
these things ." She pleaded for an answer . " Do you want to know of my pain ? 
Of my Mother's death ? What ?"
    Ranma lowered his hand slowly from his brow and looked at her for the first 
time . In the dim light she could not see if those eyes were gray or indigo .
" I don't know how to tell you , really ." He looked at her with an even 
expression , but his eyes shone with tears barely held in check . " I know the 
reason , but it's in a language that I can't speak . A language I can only think 
in . Logic and instinct , emotion and direction . Midori-san called it 'Destiny 
of Mind' . I can understand it like a color , think in it like a movement . But 
, even when I was the True I could never make anyone else understand it , except 
for Midori-san . Who shared a instant of it with me just once ..."
" So you want me to understand ?" 
" I want you to remember and think about it for now ." He rose and began to turn 
back towards the house . " There is so much to you that you never show ... in 
part , I wanted to show you that there is so much to me that I cannot show ."
    Then he started to walk away . No , she would not let it end like this just 
yet . She got to her feet and pursued him .
" Let me think out loud then ." She came up beside him . " So , you loved these 
three girls ...Midori , Sakuya , and..."
" Megumi-chan ." Ranma said in that velvety , but blank tone she had come to 
recognize as his true voice .
" Who was Megumi-san ?" She added the honorific for some reason .
" She was someone who was a maid for me when I was a new retainer for my Lord . 
She continued to be my servant after I became the Kodachi and after I became 
Ranma again . Then she died too ."
" So every woman you loved has died ..."
" I made their grave markers myself ." Ranma nodded to himself , the motion so 
slight she almost missed it entirely .
    She glanced at the stoic face Ranma had placed on . The held tears still 
shimmered in his eyes , but something told her that the tears would not fall . 
And had not fallen for far too long .
" Are you afraid to love again ?" She heard herself ask , shocked by her own 
question . 
" It never occurred to me to be afraid ." He said . They had long since reached 
the porch and seated themselves . " I don't want to love someone else . I want 
them back . I just want to feel Midori-san's warmth one more time . Feel Sakuya-
san's hands on my skin again . See Megumi-chan's smile one last time and tell 
her what I never did . No , those crowded out any notion of fearing love ."
    She resisted the urge to try to comfort him . She did not know what he would 
do , in his current state he might even be offended by her actions . Instead 
another question escaped from her lips . Where did they all come from ?
" How can you love three women ?" 
    Ranma looked at her in a way she found herself comparing to her father .
" Sometimes you love someone and that love fades or breaks ...sometimes you love 
someone and it never goes away , ever . I loved Sakuya-san soon after we first 
met . However , I did not permit myself to act on that love until much later . 
My love for Sakuya-san did not act as a barrier to Megumi-chan's love for me 
kindling my requited love for her . I did not know I loved Midori-san for a long 
time ... Does that satisfy you ?"
    She had no response to offer .
" I am tired , and my heart is sick from old wounds . Goodnight , gentle and 
dear Tendo Kasumi ." He stood and walked behind her . 
    When she turned to watch him leave she found only air . Not a sound , not a 
trace of his presence to direct her .
    She looked up to the night sky and thought about a gray eyed boy who was 
easily confused , solitary so often , and seemed to find so many ordinary things 
funny . She thought about a dark eyed man with that boy's face who loved and 
lost three women , saw more death than she could imagine , yet remained the most 
gentle and honorable man she knew . Both acted with reason and thought , 
although the boy was often wrong in his action , conversely , the man rarely 
acted or even showed himself .
    She thought and thought as the clouds hid the sky from her eyes . She 
thought of the strange feelings she felt every time the boy was near , and the 
draw the man had to her . She tried , but it remained that she still did not 
know enough to know what to conclude about either the enigmatic man or the 
paradoxical boy .
    Then it hit her .
" Wait a second ? What was I going to ask him again ?"